Teachers are often lectured, “Get to know your students!”  That’s not easy to do!  A lot of kids can be pretty closed down.  And, if you try to get to know them before they’re ready…it can be counter productive.

Bonding with students is fundamental to the learning process.  John Hattie, in his landmark book “Visible Learning”, created a list of 138 influences on student learning.  He placed student-teacher relationships in 11^th place, far ahead of many things one might think more important.  State departments of education, like in Ohio where I live, are requiring resident educators to demonstrate that positive relationships are being fostered in classrooms.

So, if you’ve been tasked to bond with students, and you’re a bit stumped on how to do it, I’m here to help!  I propose reverse engineering the problem.  Instead of you stalking your students and coming on too strong, entice them to come to you.  In order to coax students out of their shells, or melt arctic exteriors, or win over the disruptive, teachers need to become:

• Approachable
• Intriguing
• Familiar
• Safe
• Non-threatening

A great way to achieve this is to tell stories about yourself!  That’s right…which means teachers may have to come out of their shells too.  Strive to become a fascinating adult kids find attractive.  Bring students into your world.  Not literally…I’m not proposing you invite them to your house for dinner, but allow them to live vicariously through some of your interesting experiences.  You’ll be amazed at the power of this simple tactic!  Allow students to get to know you.  Isn’t that the way you’ve forged other relationships?

How about sharing these experiences with your class?

To give your stories more power, accompany narratives with images projected on your smartboard.  Become a photojournalist.  If something interesting happens to you this weekend, capture images on your phone and share them in class Monday morning.

Invariably, when I spout my ideas about sharing personal stories, I get some push back.  Here are some common reservations:

• What a tremendous waste of instructional time!
• Teachers need to be respected…they’re not entertainers!
• My students would look at me like I’m an idiot!

Certainly, spending a few minutes at the beginning or end of class bonding with kids isn’t a waste.  Particularly if you believe, like John Hattie, that relationships are essential to the learning process.  You might find improved student-teacher rapport magically leads to better student performance.  How interesting!

I would never want to undermine any educator’s image!  Sharing your life with students shouldn’t lead to this.  You don’t have to be a court jester or a stand-up comedian, or an extrovert for that matter.  The stories and experiences you share don’t have to be humorous.  Just because most student skits turn into comedies, doesn’t mean your show and tell sessions must be the same.

For those concerned with student receptiveness, I totally understand.  Students can be tricky.  When you first go down this sharing path, some kids may be dismissive, or hostile, “What’s this gotta do with what we’re studying?”  Or, “Why are you telling us this stuff?”  Don’t let these poison arrows throw you off your game!  One crabby student does not constitute a consensus.  The majority of your class might really enjoy your rendition of your experience, but be too reserved to express it.  And, I’ve often found, kids who are initially the most persnickety, later tend to be the first to start sharing back…“Mr. Sturtevant, guess where my family ate last night!”  Or, “Mr. Sturtevant, wait till I tell you what coach made us do at the end of practice!”  So, if you experience some initial resistance, just be cool and keep trying.  Your students will come around.

And finally, these reservations fail to appreciate, and this is MOST important, that contemporary youth are totally comfortable sharing and hearing trivial details of daily existence.  Think about what students post on social media:

• Massive photo albums of themselves
• Whom they find attractive
• Their favorite teams, food, music, movies, shows, games and apps

Young people are totally down with this form of sharing.  They’re constantly informing all of humanity…what’s up.  This ultra-connected, online, social networking generation diligently refreshes the stream of information.  The comic below is not far from reality!

You might think it odd to announce to the world what you had for dinner last night, and then post images of your meal for impact, but your students won’t.  They’ll embrace it…ENTHUSIASTICALLY!  Bond with students by sharing your life, and in the process, watch connections and learning blossom!

If you’d like to learn more about connecting with students, check out my book “You’ve Gotta Connect”: http://amzn.to/119pnEL

You can also listen to me talk about connecting with students on the following podcasts:

Talks With Teachers with Brian Sztabnik http://bit.ly/1DwrNMu

Inspiring Educators with Sung Lee http://bit.ly/1yaBkpe

Cult of Pedagogy with Jennifer Gonzalez http://bit.ly/1sFSbBl

Principal Center Radio with Justin Baeder http://bit.ly/1yXcN89

All Sides on NPR’s WOSU 89.7 with Ann Fisher http://bit.ly/1wO2GDX

Please visit my website https://jamesalansturtevant.com/ and follow me on Twitter @jamessturtevant

Justin and I talked about why administrators should embrace connecting with students.

Principal Center Radio Podcast 

At Big Walnut University, we matriculate through an entire unit on Buddhism. But at BWU, we try to experience a unit, not just read and take notes. One way to do this is to engage in art. Buddhist are famous for crafting inspiring mandalas. Here’s a captivating 2-minute clip on monks creating a mandala.

My students constructed their mandalas in the following fashion:

1. We took a perfectly square paper and folded it into 8 pie-shaped sections.

2. The students then created a cool design in one of the sections.

3. The students then folded the paper, placed it on a window or light box, and recreated the image in the 7 remaining sections.

4. Some of the mandalas were spectacular. But in the spirit of Buddhism, we promptly took them out in the parking lot and torched them!

Why, you may ask, would one do such a thing? The answer lies in attachment. Buddhism is all about letting go of attachment. That’s a tough concept to grasp when you’re a youthful 17-years-old. Burning these beautiful works of art had a profound impact on my students! They will remember this assignment and the message about attachment for the rest of their lives!

SOOOOO HONORED to be returning to my alma mater (Muskingum), in my hometown (New Concord), to present on my book. http://amzn.to/1bSFbZA

I remember attending such presentations as a student.  I can also vividly remember thinking, “I’d like to be up there some day.”  That day…is October 16 from 3:30 to 4:30 in Room 336 of the Boyd Science Center.

http://www.muskingum.edu/home/library/about/events.html

Please come join me!

Last Thursday, it was my great honor to appear on “ALL SIDES” with Ann Fisher on the NPR affiliate in Columbus, Ohio WOSU.  We discussed my book and connecting with students. My segment begins at the 17:00 mark.

http://wosu.org/2012/allsides/improving-student-teacher-connection/

There’s a Chinese proverb that claims, “I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand.”

But for modern students to understand to Taoism, NOT DOING is sometimes the key!

Okay…I’m attempting to get a little too clever.  To understand this fascinating paradigm, I force my students out of the room and into the woods.  Which I guess, is doing.  Whoops!

YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE THIS ACTIVITY!  The student prompt is below the image

The Taoist Walk 6 points

Taoism is all about finding the way or Tao. This could be found through contemplation or just stop trying to force everything. One aspect of Taoism is harmony with nature. To be in harmony with nature, one has to be in tune. This is accomplished through using your senses in a non-judgmental way. When you are in nature, you need to listen, smell, look, feel, and keep your mind still and wide open.   There is a whole subtle world that exists without your awareness.

Today, we are going to ignite our awareness. We are going to take a slow, conscience walk on our beautiful cross country course. We will walk at the same pace keeping 20 yards behind and 20 yards ahead of our classmates. While on this walk, suspend judgment and labels. Also, refrain from talking. Open your senses and don’t disturb others. Experience the course for the first time. It is a gorgeous autumn day. Allow nature to come alive and teach you. Embrace the Tao!

Consider the following prompts during the walk, and then record your reflections on the back when you return:

1. What was the most powerful sensation during the walk?
2. Had you ever been on this path behind the school? If so, did you experience it differently this time? If not, what was your impression of the walk?
3. What did you hear on the walk?
4. What did you smell on the walk?
5. What did you think on the walk?
6. How did you feel on the walk?

I played high school football. I also coached it for 15 years. What I never liked about the sport, was how few games there were in comparison to what seemed like endless practice sessions. I love HBO’s series “Hard Knocks” because it’s all about practice…training camp to be exact.

I especially like the show because it’s so rich in terms of relationship dynamics. Even though these are professional athletes, coaches and ownership are constantly searching for ways to motivate their players. A big part of this effort is creating relationships amongst the players, and between the players and coaches. To a large extent, it’s what the show is all about!

This season focuses on the Atlanta Falcons. Here’s 54 second trailer. I have to say, I’m not impressed with what I’ve seen so far. Atlanta underachieved last year, which didn’t sit well with their sulking, melancholy owner Arthur Blank. He was particularly upset when his players did not retaliate in the first game last year when their quarterback was cheapshoted. So this year, he’s instructed head coach Mike Smith to instill a level of aggressiveness in practice. Blank stomps around the sidelines scowling. The players respond by constantly fighting…apparently what they’ve been encouraged to do!

I’ve watched other episodes of Hard Knocks and there’s always some fighting, but this was over the top. It’ll be interesting to see how this series progresses. I can’t imagine, at this point, the Falcons playing like a team…a family.

As I watch, I think about my style of teaching. There are similarities between coaching in the NFL and teaching high school. High school teachers and coaches are trying to help young people be the best they can be. I would never foster such a confrontational atmosphere in my class. I would never create an every man and woman for him or herself mentality. I don’t think it’s constructive, or productive. I’m fascinated to see where this goes!

“You’ve Gotta Connect”

Please join me in Nashville Oct. 29 – Nov. 1 at the INTERNATIONAL INVITATIONAL EDUCATION WORLD CONFERENCE.  I’ll be presenting on Thursday morning.  Here’s a link to the conference, and a link to the itinerary.

Worried that the present crop of young people (YOUR STUDENTS DON’T FORGET) are total dolts and have their priorities all screwed up?  Well…check out this quote from Hesiod the poet of ancient Greece circa 700 BCE.  THAT’S 200 YEARS PRIOR TO ATHENS’ GOLDEN AGE!

click image to enlarge